Facing New Challenges

30 Nov

As a part of my daily balancing act, I am trying to always think about being healthy. That translates into my food choices, being active and having a positive mindset. However, with my new daily routine that takes me away from home and keeps me in a car for a 2.5 hr commute, staying active can be really difficult. I think of working out as a part of who I am, but lately it has become something I need to do. GASP! I know, it is a terrible feeling. Especially for someone who used to be active just for fun.

So, I thought, why not give yourself a goal, B?! Great idea! The problem? I gave myself about the worst possible goal in the world because it is my biggest fear in terms of fitness.  I signed up for a race.

Umm, I wiiiissshhh.

I know, you’re probably giggling to yourself, it’s just a 5k. And honestly, I am not sure where the fear comes from. I have run races before, I am a competetor by nature and have been training for skating since I could walk. Setting a plan and working to a goal is how I function. So what the dilly? I have no idea why, but running stresses me out to a point that I talk myself out of it. I know. Stupid.

I think that its my need to be a perfectionist. Why run if I can’t knock out 5 miles with no problem? Why run if I am going to clock anything less then a 8 min mile? Part of my problem are the blogs I am obsessed with…strange, but most of them are runners sharing their daily jaunts of 10 milers. HELLO…are you nuts?! I wish. I am in good shape, I work out 4-6x a week including lots of cardio, spinning and skating so that is not the problem.

The real issue is that I have been very, very lax on my running and the race is in two weeks.  Yup. In the middle of December and I have never run outside. Why you ask? Because I am scared. What if I go out there and can barely get through one mile?! Then what. I am affraid of not being able to cut it and so I do nothing. Not a good plan, B.

At this point I am not sure I want to even do it. I have let this go so long.  What to do, what to do.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: