Good-Bye is the Hardest Part

7 Dec

Dear readers

I am writing my post today on loss (sorry, no What I’m Loving Wednesday today) as this blog is about my life and working to find balance (good and bad, positive and negative, yin and yang) within all that happens in my life.

Phil and I were traveling through Europe, our dream vacation that we planned for a year and a half, when we received the news that my grandma had passed away. We returned from Paris to drop our bags, throw clothes in a new suitcase and drive to my home four hours north all within 12-hrs. It was a difficult time. While we were at my grandma’s funeral, my aunt suffered a brain aneurism and passed away the next day. The losses were devastating – the family was stunned and at a loss. It was too much to handle.

I ended up staying up north for a week and a half for both funerals. Suffering the loss of my grandma was very difficult, but adding the loss of my aunt was unbearable. She was young and healthy – no one was prepared to say good-bye so soon. Trying to find answers was not only frustrating, but almost impossible.

After what was meant to be a wonderful time in our life (and was), ended on a difficult note. Phil and I were hoping to float on our vacation high for a while, but we were quickly jerked back to reality. Life is not fun and flat-out sucks at times.

We returned to our regularly scheduled programing, but to be honest, I have had my weak moments.

Then last week, we heard that Phil’s grandpa was not doing well. We were able to spend time with him on Thanksgiving, which was a blessing. We received a call on Thursday that it was time to say good-bye and we lost grandpa within 12-hrs. Grandpa was a father figure to Phil, so the loss was completely devastating. We spent the past few days up north with his family struggling to make it through.

I have hit a wall – there has been too much loss in the past month, more than I can handle. We tried to bring in our tree last night and I broke down. I am having a difficult time gearing up for the holidays this year. I am having a difficult time doing much of anything.

I thank god for my wonderful husband, family and friends who have supported and loved me through this time.

Life seems unfair; where is the yang to this ying? We have had a great year; a great new job, our first house, a new car, a trip to Europe, but this seems to trump everything. Maybe I am too close to the situation, but right now I feel overwhelmed. I am lacking energy to do much of anything. I know this is temporary and that loss is part of life, but i have lost too much too soon.

Sorry for the downer post. I needed to get that off of my chest.




One Response to “Good-Bye is the Hardest Part”

  1. Laura @ scribbles and sass December 8, 2011 at 4:07 am #

    it was very brave of you to write this post, and allow yourself to be vulnerable. I am sending you and the family lots of love, and keeping you in my thoughts, B.


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